Saturday 13 October 2012

First Tentative Steps In The World Of Nursing


Righto, so maybe time for a blog update?  I’ve been in my ‘new’ job 8 weeks now…and am still loving it so much!  I feel like I’ve been there years, which can only be a good thing (?) but I also feel like I have SO much to learn, SO much to read up on and SO much to do!  I guess that must be a good thing, as, I think, a decent nurse can never know everything.  Hmm that seems weird, calling myself a nurse. 

Anyway, so in terms of admin things for those starting a nurse job soon, I’ve got my pass sorted, took a couple of weeks to get I.T. to let me actually get into my own ward, but I can now!  I have my parking pass and of course, from my last blog, I found my way there!  Actually, in terms of driving, which is what was stressing me out most, a lot of things have changed…I have a new car!  Well, not ‘new’ as in brand new, but new to me.  A beautiful little mini which, to people who know me, know is my most perfect car…I literally smile every time I get in it.  I love my old car so much, he was my very first car, and he did so well…he was ‘S’ reg, rusty, one of the back doors wouldn’t open, I couldn’t get it into 2nd or 4th gear, his MOT ran out at the end of Sept…it was time to say goodbye, and I’m not ashamed to say I cried!  Anyhoo I ramble away…it only took a few days to get my pass in the internal mail so it was pretty quick! 

So…guess I’ll go through how things have been!  FIRST DAY…I was scared.  Totally, ridiculously, unnecessarily scared!  I was working 3 days that week, Mon, Thurs and Fri, which is good because after getting literally no sleep from panicking the night before about the drive there/will people like me/will I make an idiot out of myself/what else can I do to screw it up…I got about an hours sleep and so needed a day off to recover after the first day!

I found my way there (yay!), managed to park the car (reverse parked it too, I’ll have you know) and then found my ward, I got to the doors and there was a big sign saying ‘Ward # has closed, we have moved to Ward # at the #### Hospital’.  I was like, seriously?  Oh great, trust me to get a job on a ward where the ward shuts!  So, glancing through the ward door window and seeing it all dark, whilst fighting back tears I pressed the buzzer, ‘just in case’, and someone answered!  Woo!  One of the HCA’s buzzed me in and told me where to get changed, so I did…into my BLUE UNIFORM!  Ahhhh, this is real!  I am (supposed) to be a nurse!  I still feel like someone, somewhere has mixed my name up with someone else, but hey ho!  Surely if I’ve started, they can’t take my job off me?!

Anyway, turns out that very occasionally the ward closes on a weekend if there are no patients, or if there is one or two that other wards can take on, so that explains the sign on the door – trust me to start on a Monday when the ward had closed.  The whole day flew by.  I was introduced to all the staff, and all seem lovely, but I felt really quiet…probably still in shock at landing a nurse job, and also partly still feeling like I didn’t deserve to be working there.

Since starting there I’ve done my trust induction, done some other courses, spent some time in the pre-admission clinic, been in theatres to see some operations, and whilst the Sister has encouraged me to see lots of things, I’ve kinda been wanting to get stuck into being a nurse on the ward, I mean I’ve waited so long for the chance to do it, so whilst I may look back and think ‘I wish I’d done this or that’ I was just too excited to be a nurse!  I still am, and to be honest, think I always will be! 

I guess there have been two times when I’ve actually felt like a real nurse.  The first being the first time I counter-signed for a drug, in paeds when you administer drugs you need to get it double checked by another nurse, and as a student I could draw up medicines and do the drug calculations but could never sign for it, so the first time I could was so weird.  The second time I felt like a nurse was after I’d completed my CPR course and had to go on to pass the paeds version, I was then allowed to bring patients back to the ward from the theatre.  Honestly the first time I did it, I was paranoid something was going to go wrong like the child would stop breathing or start bleeding out or something, and I’d need to jump into action.  As time has gone on I’ve become more relaxed, as in, I can chat away to the child and the parents, whilst still being able to continually assess the child at the same time.  I know it’s only something little, but I was chatting to a friend about it, about how if something happened and I’d need to do CPR, and my friend was like ‘yeah, but you’d have someone with you, like a doctor, who can do it instead of you’ and I was telling them that no, it would be down to me.  I think that’s when it hit me the amount of responsibility I’m taking on, but in a good way, as I feel completely capable of it which is something I never thought I’d ever be able to say.

Right now I’ve just finished a big stint at work, having started Saturday morning and finished yesterday (Friday) morning, a mixture of 2 days and 4 nights in a row, which made me feel like I was living at work, but I really do love it.  I’m starting to feel a bit more like part of the team, I know no team is perfect, and there are always ups and downs, but I feel on the whole, we’re a good team.  I’m really enjoying every part of the job and it’s going so quick.  I still feel like the new girl but in some ways I don’t.  Very strange feeling!

The Christmas Off Duty is out and it looks like I’ll be working or on call for most of it, but that’s ok.  I’m just excited to finally be living the dream, I am so so so happy and I’m finally beginning to feel like all the hard work, stress and drama has been worth it :D I got a letter booking me on to my preceptorship course, where I have one study day a month for 6 months, I start in November so will finish in April and the scary thing is it will be April before we know!  I think I need to write an essay of some sort but I’m sure that will be explained in the first lecture.  It’s all so real now, and I wouldn’t want it any other way!

For now, I will wish you all goodbye and try not to leave it too long til the next blog!

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