What a year! I've learnt so much, met some fantastic people and am living my dream! I'm really really happy and still feel so lucky to be doing something I absolutely love!
Here is just a little thing I stole off some website, if anyone bothers reading this blog, why don't you try it yourself...REFLECTION! Haha! Can even post it in my comments!
1. What was the most memorable event of 2009 for you personally?
Every single placement! I think it was probably the first time I went to theatre. Oooh actually no, it sounds a bit daft but I was on the train going home, from the last shift of my first ever placement, had just found out I'd passed and got some nice comments, and I just felt really happy :o)
2. What have you done this year that you feel was a real accomplishment?
Passed that stupid FOUR HOUR exam!
3. What do you regret most about this year?
Letting myself get stressed out easily, lifes too short...chill!
4. Did you stick to your new years resolutions? If so, what were they?
Was to pass first year of Uni, which I did. I probably wanted to lose weight and cut down alcohol but hey, lifes too short!
5. What was your favourite song of 2009?
Absolutely love 'Red' by Daniel Merriweather
6. Which band/ artist did you discover/ fall in love with this year?
Not sure, wasn't that many great bands, just the odd fantastic song!
7. Who are you most proud of this year and why? (can be a family member/ friend or a famous person!)
Loads of people have made me proud for different things, parents and kids who are ill cope so well, a friend for being so strong when she lost her daughter
8. Did you do anything new or do something for the first time this year?
Went to theatres, actually looked forward to going to work (yes, really...)
9. Have you learnt anything new about yourself in 2009?
I might not make such a crap nurse after all...maybe. I learnt that I'm far more controlled with my emotions than I thought and that actually, it's OK to cry.
Also, that my spatial awareness is even worse than I thought, honestly, it's appauling!
10. What has your relationship status been like throughthe year? Did you find that 'special someone'?
Didn't find that 'special someone', heres hoping to meet him in 2010, a nice paramedic perhaps!
11. What do you want to do in 2010? What, if any, new years resolutions will you be making?
Finish last year of uni, go somewhere on holiday, lose some weight, visit Holy Island, take more photos, read the Twilight books, try and get more sleep, drink more water, have more day trips to nice places, try and do *some* exercise, keep smiling and keep on having fun!
Finally.... sum up you year in a few sentences!
FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC. Hard at times, pushed myself to my limits and there has been tears, but these have been far outweighed by the smiles and laughs. Realise how lucky I have to have such amazing family and friends, and have finally found the career that I love more than I ever thought I would! Only thing is, it doesn't seem like a whole year has passed, I must be getting old!
To people who bother reading this, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! All the best for 2010 - hope it's a fantastic year for you all!
Big love xxx
Thursday 31 December 2009
Wednesday 9 December 2009
And THAT is why I want to be a nurse!
Ahhhh sorry it's been a while, have been so busy and with working five days a week, and trying to do Uni work I've never really had chance to catch up, but here I am!
So, the title of this blog? Ever get a day, or even just a moment, when all the hard work, all the tears and all the stress finally pay off? Even if it's just for a split second, when you think 'wow, that is exactly why I want to come in to this career?'
Well I had one yesterday and, actually it almost had me in tears, which is not like me! As I'm on a really small ward, and there are hardly any patients at the mo, it's very easy to get attached to the kids that are there, and, well, I totally have got attached to this one boy and I want to take him home with me! He's had a bit of a tough life in terms of his health so far, but I won't say any more, so as to not identify him. He had an operation yesterday, and I stayed right through with him, and was there when he woke up in recovery and I swear it almost broke my heart. He was surrounded by doctors and nurses he didn't know (theatre staff) and he was really agitated and scared, but then he looked up and saw me, recognised who I was and was calling me by this pet name he has for me, and telling me to make it stop hurting and get 'them' the stop what they were doing (just doing obs and stuff, but he didn't understand, he's only 8). Anyway he was reaching out for my hand, so I just held it for him, was stroking his hair and it settled him down, and it was just such an amazing feeling, to be able to do actually feel like I was helping. He kept on looking up, checking I was still there, then settling back down, he's just so lovely. The theatre staff kept saying stuff like 'oh he must really like you' and 'you must have a good bond' and it made me nearly cry. I know that sounds like I'm being really big headed, but I swear, I'm really not. It just hit me with a load of poweful emotions, I was feeling really protective of him, and it felt like I was the only one in that room, who could make it better, and that is one of the reasons I came in to nursing, to help people. I say protective too, as I was told off for holding his hand, for 'health and safety' by a nurse who had obviously never worked with kids, and whilst I do respect that there are rules, I felt like if I stopped holding his hand he'd get more upset and probably try to climb off the bed, hurting himself in the process. So it was probably the first time, ever, that I didn't do as I was told, as I didn't think it would benefit my patient at all.
Anyway, sorry about that massive boring bit just there, I wanted to write it down so if I had a rubbish day, I could look back and use it as a reminder as to why I love this job so much!
What else have I been up to? I finished my essay, at long last. Have just handed it in. I don't think I've done very well to be honest, but I'm just aiming for a pass. When I did my first degree, it was always put on you to get 60 or above (i.e. a 2:1) but this time, I really honestly am over the moon with the minimum pass mark of 50. Like I think I've said before, I don't think essays and exams make you a nurse - being there, looking after patients and following your instincts make you a good nurse. Exams and essay marks are just numbers on a piece of paper, and as long as I get a pass, I don't care.
So anyway, my ward is tiny. I switch my time between the ward and spending time with the specialist nurses. I know when I first started, it was slow and it was, dare I say it...boring? But I made a decision to not focus on all the negatives but to really go for it and try everything I could, and see everything in a positive light, and you know what? It worked! I'm having a ball, I really am enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would and I've learnt LOADS! I think it goes to show that, not only does having a good mentor make or break a placement, and that's nothing you can control BUT a positive mental attitude can really make a placement fantastic! I mean, you can have the best ward ever, but if you go in thinking it'll be crap, then in all likelihood, it probably will be! Whereas if you get a ward that you're not sure of to start with, if you give it your all and decide to get as much as you can out of it, you can make such a difference! I finish placement next week and I already don't want to go! I'm going to miss the kids to much!
Apart from nursey stuff, I'm finally starting to look forward to Christmas! Now that the essay is in I can really chill and enjoy the run up to Christmas day! Most presents bought and wrapped, only have a few more things to buy...everything is good!
I was just thinking the other day as well, I'll have been in training for almost a year, and looking back, I can't believe how much I've changed, how much I've learnt and how much I've loved every minute of it, even the crap times! I wouldn't change it for the world and I still feel so thankful, everyday, for being lucky enough to be given the chance to do this!
So, the title of this blog? Ever get a day, or even just a moment, when all the hard work, all the tears and all the stress finally pay off? Even if it's just for a split second, when you think 'wow, that is exactly why I want to come in to this career?'
Well I had one yesterday and, actually it almost had me in tears, which is not like me! As I'm on a really small ward, and there are hardly any patients at the mo, it's very easy to get attached to the kids that are there, and, well, I totally have got attached to this one boy and I want to take him home with me! He's had a bit of a tough life in terms of his health so far, but I won't say any more, so as to not identify him. He had an operation yesterday, and I stayed right through with him, and was there when he woke up in recovery and I swear it almost broke my heart. He was surrounded by doctors and nurses he didn't know (theatre staff) and he was really agitated and scared, but then he looked up and saw me, recognised who I was and was calling me by this pet name he has for me, and telling me to make it stop hurting and get 'them' the stop what they were doing (just doing obs and stuff, but he didn't understand, he's only 8). Anyway he was reaching out for my hand, so I just held it for him, was stroking his hair and it settled him down, and it was just such an amazing feeling, to be able to do actually feel like I was helping. He kept on looking up, checking I was still there, then settling back down, he's just so lovely. The theatre staff kept saying stuff like 'oh he must really like you' and 'you must have a good bond' and it made me nearly cry. I know that sounds like I'm being really big headed, but I swear, I'm really not. It just hit me with a load of poweful emotions, I was feeling really protective of him, and it felt like I was the only one in that room, who could make it better, and that is one of the reasons I came in to nursing, to help people. I say protective too, as I was told off for holding his hand, for 'health and safety' by a nurse who had obviously never worked with kids, and whilst I do respect that there are rules, I felt like if I stopped holding his hand he'd get more upset and probably try to climb off the bed, hurting himself in the process. So it was probably the first time, ever, that I didn't do as I was told, as I didn't think it would benefit my patient at all.
Anyway, sorry about that massive boring bit just there, I wanted to write it down so if I had a rubbish day, I could look back and use it as a reminder as to why I love this job so much!
What else have I been up to? I finished my essay, at long last. Have just handed it in. I don't think I've done very well to be honest, but I'm just aiming for a pass. When I did my first degree, it was always put on you to get 60 or above (i.e. a 2:1) but this time, I really honestly am over the moon with the minimum pass mark of 50. Like I think I've said before, I don't think essays and exams make you a nurse - being there, looking after patients and following your instincts make you a good nurse. Exams and essay marks are just numbers on a piece of paper, and as long as I get a pass, I don't care.
So anyway, my ward is tiny. I switch my time between the ward and spending time with the specialist nurses. I know when I first started, it was slow and it was, dare I say it...boring? But I made a decision to not focus on all the negatives but to really go for it and try everything I could, and see everything in a positive light, and you know what? It worked! I'm having a ball, I really am enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would and I've learnt LOADS! I think it goes to show that, not only does having a good mentor make or break a placement, and that's nothing you can control BUT a positive mental attitude can really make a placement fantastic! I mean, you can have the best ward ever, but if you go in thinking it'll be crap, then in all likelihood, it probably will be! Whereas if you get a ward that you're not sure of to start with, if you give it your all and decide to get as much as you can out of it, you can make such a difference! I finish placement next week and I already don't want to go! I'm going to miss the kids to much!
Apart from nursey stuff, I'm finally starting to look forward to Christmas! Now that the essay is in I can really chill and enjoy the run up to Christmas day! Most presents bought and wrapped, only have a few more things to buy...everything is good!
I was just thinking the other day as well, I'll have been in training for almost a year, and looking back, I can't believe how much I've changed, how much I've learnt and how much I've loved every minute of it, even the crap times! I wouldn't change it for the world and I still feel so thankful, everyday, for being lucky enough to be given the chance to do this!
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