As Gordon Ramsay would say...DONE

FINALLY finished that placement.

I have never been so relieved. This placement has caused me to doubt myself more than I ever thought was possible. I got so little support and lost all my confidence on so many occasions. I am glad to get out of there.

It's just a complete shame, if the atmosphere was less bitchy, more supportive, less judgemental and just, basically, TOTALLY different, taking away all those bits, it would be a nice ward to work on.

The good parts are working one to one with patients. Getting to know them, their families, their situations...sometimes completely heartbreaking, sometimes heartwarming. I liked how the 'regular' or 'long term' families, had their own little communities, and genuinely cared and helped eachother out. It was really nice to see friendships build between the parents.

Bad points would take forever to list but not one of them was about the children and families. It's all about the staff. I mean, I can understand stressed parents, taking their frustration out on staff, and when that happened I dealt with it better than I thought. But it's when the staff are the way they were, I lose all faith. Doesn't help when I know someone who works there.

Also, mentor dropped the bombshell today as I forced them so sign my book (forced as in they'd done nothing all placement), they've not taken their mentorship update...d'ya know I don't need this. If I find out nothing I've done counts, I will not know what to do.

Screw it, I'll worry later.

For now I am just happy to be away and done with that placement. I will sleep SO well tonight.

Hurry Up 2 Weeks

I really really want the next two weeks to fly by! Can't wait for this placement to be over. I don't hate it as such, but it's so not me. I hit a wall a week or so ago, simply could not face going in, and that's the first time I've called in sick and I thought I'd feel guilty about it but all I felt was relief. Thing is, it was so easy that I really don't want to get into that kind of habit (!) and I felt exactly the same yesterday, but dragged myself in, even if I was having a little cry whilst I was driving there (pathetic I know!)

BUT TWO WEEKS! Come on, I can do that, surely?!

In other news I was told that I hadn't got any of my three choices for management :o( Totally and completely gutted as I was using the idea of getting my first choice as a way to keep on at this placement, now I'm feeling a bit helpless. Still, just not going to think about it, will think about it later!

Ooooh and it's so sunny outside! :o)