Too Soon

Ok so I've realised 2 years isn't enough time to train to be a nurse.

I thought that squashing 3 years in to 2 sounded like a really good idea when I applied. But, if I'm really honest, for me at least, it's nowhere near enough. The other people on my course are amazing and I really can genuinely see them being fantastic nurses when they finish this course. So it is a good course for those clever and experienced enough. It's just me.

Really don't know what to do and I'm so worried about things that I'm not sleeping, can't concentrate and am really struggling with everything. I want to be a nurse more than anything but I'm beginning to realise that I'm not good enough.

What do I do?

Oh Deary Me!

I had my first day back at Uni yesterday and whilst it was absolutely lovely to see all my friends, and catch up with what their Christmas/New Year was like, after a couple of lectures I left feeling terrified!

Let me explain. It was pretty much drummed in to us yesterday that in two placements time we will be finished our training and that scares me SO much. We could fail the management placement which I knew, of course, but never really thought about, now I'm convinced I'm going to. I'm a bit scared cos as much as I love doing this, as a student, I enjoy not having the responsibility and to have to take it all on when/if I qualify, scares the life out of me. I'm thinking that maybe I should be a HCA or something similar, as I love the job, love the kids, love the work...am not loving the thought of such responsibility and it's scary. Maybe I should talk to my friends and see how they're feeling, they all just seem so...capable.

On a positive side I passed my assignment and so did my class, so I'm really proud of them all, and I got my next placement sorted and I am RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED about it! Maybe the other feelings will pass...I hope! Gotta keep smiling and stop worrying about stuff!