Little (but long) Update

I realised that I have not made a blog post for a while, after it was pointed out...(thanks Suzie!) :)

Anyway I guess it was time, it's been a while! Prepare for a HUGE blog. Seriously, make yourself a cup of tea and get some chocolate hobnobs ready to dunk.

So what has been up? I've had a couple of interviews, of which I've asked, prior to interview, to have a look round the ward, just to get a feel for things. I have to say, I recommend this SO much to all NQ there. You can gather so much valuable info there as well as working out what the best things are to read up for to help with interview.

For example, time before last I asked to look round, I got there at the appointed time I arranged...and they didn't know who I was or what I was doing there (Note: You're so un-important you clearly have no chance at the job, as in, they have someone internal for the job...) the time before, all the nurses chatted about when 'person a' got the job, how would they fit 'person a' shifts in with the off duty, when 'person a' was on her holidays who would do what...basically the job had been filled way before us monkeys turned up for interview. But to be fair, I think it learns you more as an applicant, when they can't be arsed to even pretend you're important do you really want to work there? The answer would be no, unless you were like me, and 9 months into qualifying so you're so desperate for a nurse job you just smile and nod. You basically go for the job and try to jump hoops at the interview, knowing full well you haven't got a chance. And are so polite to the people who ring you to say you didn't get it (how you'd love to tell them where to go and exactly what you thought of their ward...yet you refrain in case you get an interview in 6 months time.) It's all so fixed.

I have an interview next week and I went for a look around last week, to be honest, it felt different. I don't know if that is a real positive, or just a positive I'm desperately searching for. I went and they were expecting me. I met one of the sisters and she took the time out to show me round. I met the other sister and she recognised me, at the time I thought it was because she'd seen me round the hospital, but later realised that she was in the interview panel who didn't give me a job in A&E (...so, not good!) but I looked around, recognised a few faces from nurses to physios I had worked with (am sure they recognised me as 'the fat one' haha - better to be known as something than not to be known at all!), but, because I went for a look around, I feel like it's not as scary.

The ward itself is amazing, the sister said they see 1200 patients a week. Busy, but I would love that so much. I went to visit and I just wanted so much to get stuck in. I left feeling that I wanted to stay. I don't know if that's the ward, or maybe it's just having been so long out of nursing that I'm craving it so much. I feel so shit, being unemployed as a nurse and wanting it so much. I mean if a ward give me a job on the provision that I would be night nurse for a year, I'd take it. I miss working with the patients, helping them, doing all I can, I want to nurse so much.

If I'm completely 100% honest with myself, if I don't get this job, I really think that is it. I assumed, due to the idealistic views of University that you would just walk into a job. That is SO not the case. That may be just due to that case that I've chosen to do children's nursing and not adults or mental health, as I've heard that there are so many jobs available there. I don't know if it's due to politics of the country, but university shouldn't get student nurses hopes up, I can honestly say my experience of university in terms of nursing has been so poor, very unstructured and really unsupportive. I know tutors (and not all, I realise) are busy but sometimes the odd bit of help once we're qualified would go a long way - it's all good enough when we're in Uni and learning, but once we're all qualified, we're quickly forgotten. As you may know I went to Uni previously to get a degree in Psychology, and I can honestly say, hand on heart, that the tutors there were ten times the ones in 'nurse school'. It is such a shame.