Ok so, I am a dummy. We all knew that. But this time in particular it was worth a moment of daftness.
You know when you check your hotmail account and it tells you if you have any emails in your inbox before you click to see where the emails are? I set up an email account just for applying for nurse jobs (as in, it was a 'sensible' email name as opposed to something stupid, like, 'pisshead69' or something!) so I knew any emails would be job related. Well I signed in and saw 'Inbox (1)' so I got all excited thinking I might have a nurse interview.
Anyway, it was just some crappy spam mail BUT it got me thinking, if I was excited to think I had an interview somewhere, then, deep down I know I haven't given up. I guess I always knew inside that I couldn't 100% give up. I just can't. It may sometimes be easier to sit back and accept defeat and learn to live an easy life that nicely prattles along. Only thing it, what is life without taking chances? I mean yeah, it hurts every time I'm given a 'no', and slowly chips further and further away at my confidence which makes me wonder what exactly my point in life is BUT it's my dream, and like a good friend once said, 'what is this awful world without dreams?' Never a truer word said.
So that's me, back to applying. I do feel that I'm a bit on an emotional merry-go-round, where some days I'm ready to throw the towel in and give up, then you get some days where something happens to make you wonder why you'd ever want to quit trying?
As much as I really don't think I can take that much more rejection, there something inside me that just won't quit. It can be an annoying trait at times but I know I'm a person who is determined to get what she wants and will fight for it. Being a nurse is something that I have wanted for so long, and I've come this far, I want it SO much, I won't give up until I get it.
I just really really hope something good happens soon.
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