Time To Face Facts

I know it's not been so long since my last blog, but I think it's about time I faced facts. I'm never going to be a nurse, it's a pipe dream that I've dreamt of for so long, and no matter how many times people will tell me (being nice of course) or no matter how many times I tell myself, I will never be a good children's nurse. It's never going to happen. End of dream. I was stupid and delusional to think I could ever do this.

I guess I could see it as one of two things. 1) I'm a failure. 2) I'm a failure but I acknowledge that, so it's time to accept and move on, try something different, learn a new skill, make the most of the situation.

Either way I'm a failure. A failed children's nurse. Just thankful I can finally learn to accept it and move on. I'd say something about the start of a fresh new chapter but to be honest there will always be that little bit of me hoping something will come up, that simply one children's nursing job will come up that I could hope to get, but it just won't happen. It's been months since I qualified and there have been so few jobs. Then there are the other intakes staggered through the year that are becoming qualified. Seems it's time to accept defeat and move on, safe in the knowledge that wherever I get a non nursey job, I'm at least first aid trained. Maybe this will be my last blog, I seem a fraud parading around as a student nurse when I’m an unemployed qualified nurse, not that it makes any difference, I’m still unemployed and sad about it.

Least I have my family and real friends I guess.