A New Plan

Ok, so I after a lot of thinking and lots of worrying and a good chat with some lovely friends, I have a plan!

(It's not terribly exciting mind)

I simply cannot continuously put myself through the constant rejection when applying for nursing jobs. It's shattering my confidence, it's making me wonder why I've bothered these last couple of years and it's making me doubt everything I do. In short, it's just ruined all my self belief and makes me feel really really sad.

However, I can't give up completely as then all the hard work, studying, long hours, stress, everything will have been for nothing, and to me, that's not acceptable. As a rule, if I want something, I try and try and try til I get there.

SO, the plan. I'm only going to apply for jobs I really REALLY want. When I think about things, I don't mind the incredible amount of short term stress that preparing for and having an interview brings about, if there is a chance I will get a job perfect for me, out of it. But I refuse to put myself through this stress if it's for a job which I feel I should apply for but don't really really want. As a friend said, it's about time I looked after myself a bit more instead of others. Harder than it sounds!

For example, there is a job advertised for a cardiac ICU, which normally I'd apply for, possibly get an interview, stress about everything, be a quivering wreck on interview day where I will mess up, to eventually be told I didn't get the job...which I wasn't 100% desperate for anyway. Thinking the way I'm thinking now, I'm not going to apply so I skip all the heartache (pardon the pun) and I'm still in exactly the same position as I would be, if I'd applied, only without the hassle of losing any more confidence. That way, when the jobs I would love do get advertised, I'll feel refreshed, more positive and more hopeful for getting an interview and maybe even the job.

Hmmm all works in theory, but then again there could be no jobs advertised that I like? True, but to be totally honest, I'm not super fussy about where I work, only very honest about where I know I'd not like to work, namely intensive care units or theatres. So really, it probably doesn't sound much of a 'plan' as such, but it makes me feel a bit more empowered to know that I can actually choose not to apply for a job and don't feel pushed into applying for every single one, if that makes any sense???

As for being jobless, I am willing to take any non-nursey job and have applied to many nursing homes in order to build up and keep up to date my skills I have, which will help with my CV and applications to jobs, as well as helping my bank balance(!) so fingers crossed something will come of these jobs.

Reading that over it doesn't seem like much of a plan but that small step of realising I don't have to apply for every job makes me feel a whole lot better about things and will make me feel over the moon if I actually get a nursing job soon as I'll know that it was one I really really wanted. Imagine applying for a job on a ward you'd done a placement on and HATED (we all have them!) and getting it as your first job as a newly qualified, wouldn't you feel as though somehow you'd cheated yourself out of the excitement of your first post a bit? If you really didn't like that ward then you'd dreading your first day as a 'real' nurse and won't be feeling at all excited about it...which I think would be such a shame.

So anyhoo, that's 'the plan', well, until literally NO jobs are advertised and I'm forced to apply for wards I know I'll not like, but hey, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Tthe NMC give your 5 years post qualifying to get a nursing job before they take your qualification off you...I've got PLENTY of time (I hope!)