Getting Stuff Off My Chest

OK, so before my thoughts go down into my blog, I know many people are worse off than me and I have no right in complaining, however, seeing as nobody reads my blog (or not many!) and it's kinda getting to be more a diary due to being an unemployed nurse, so I'm just gonna roll with it.

I'm feeling really disappointed. If I'm truly honest, which I am, I'm feeling disappointed in lots of things. Uni. 'Friends'. Job Situation. Lots of things.

Starting with Uni, I feel that they didn't fully prepare us for the lack of jobs, it may be the climate at the moment, but it was never stated that there would be no jobs once we qualified, though that may just be me being naive? We didn't do much in terms of preparation and whilst that could be due to the kind of course, or whatever, I got more help in terms of interview prep from my management placement. I don't feel I'd be able to go to my tutor and ask for help as she's is probably juggling her current workload and tutor groups so I'd not want to add any more stress to her. Plus the one time I did ask she wasn't a great deal of help.

Moving on to 'friends', I know I've said it before but everyone reckons the friends you make during nurse training are going to be friends for life. Sadly I very much disagree. As we were a small group of 7 in the end, you'd think we'd stick together? Unfortunately this isn't the case. There are four main girls who are friends, who have one by one reduced the number of their friendship group by either being nasty or just plain ignorant to the rest of us, which, I find quite incredible for someone in the caring profession. For some reason I am now being ignored and whilst, yes, it hurts a bit, it also goes to show that no matter how hard you try to be nice, helpful or caring to others, it doesn't really matter in the end. Still I'm not going to change myself to fit in with others, if they enjoy bitching and nastiness, so be it. I'm mature enough to realise I don't want people like that in my life. It just generally pisses me off when they arrange a 'secret' holiday and boast about it all over a well known social network site. It's just pathetic, something you might do when you were 14, though saying that, if I saw any of them tomorrow I'd still smile and be polite. Damn being brought up so well - shame that can't extend to them! Still, it makes me more thankful for the true and genuine friends I have, which I love lots. I'd rather have 5 close friends who I could trust my life with than 200 'friends' whick I couldn't.

The job situation still sucks, I said in a previous blog I'd only apply for things I really really want...that didn't last long, I've ended up applying for a job that came up, just cos I'm desperate so no doubt if I'm lucky enough to get an interview (doubtful) I'll stress myself up, mess up the interview, not get the job then end up feeling a million times more sorry for myself. I'm thinking of drawing a time on when I'm just going to stop applying and give up on the dream. As much as I don't want to, I'm slowly realising that it's not going to happen and maybe the sooner I see that for sure, the better. I'm still young(ish) I have plenty of time to change career? If I'd done adult I'd probably not be in this situation, there seems to be lots of jobs in that branch at the moment but then having not done adult nursing, I'm unsure of the competition so it could be just as bad.

All in all I guess I look like I'm feeling sorry for myself and I probably am. I guess I took it for granted that when I qualified there would be jobs available and if there wasn't I'd have the support from friends to help. Ahh well, life is there to teach you things the hard way I guess.

Still I have a song which is one of my absolute favourites and always cheers me up (wow I sound so ridiculously emo, those who know me know I'm far from it!) but anyway, here is it, hope it makes someone smile too cos I absolutely love it :)

SMILE :)