So, I didn't get the job and to be honest I'm not surprised. I managed to work myself up, which I tend to do when I really want the job (yet I can stay calm for those I'm not desperate for - if only it was the other way round!). I messed up basically, and if I'm honest, I wouldn't have employed me. I was absolute crap.
When I got the call to say I'd not been successful the nurse was lovely, bless her. There were 48 applicants whittled down to 14 for an interview, then the person given the job had years of experience in that setting. So I guess I could feel happy I was lucky enouth to get an interview?
Only I don't, I just feel really really tired of it all. Whether that's because I didn't sleep well last night or whether I'm just getting fed up? The way I'm feeling right now is that I just can't put myself through the whole process again. I prepare so much for the interviews, I try my best, stress myself out, and all for what? Yet another rejection? Maybe it's telling me something, that I'm simply not cut out for it. But underneath it all I'm so desperate to nurse, I can't imagine doing anything else, and I know deep down, I'll try my best to brush myself down and keep going, it's just getting harder and harder everytime I get given another 'no' and chips further away at the little confidence I have left in myself. I know there are so many people worse off, going through hell every day and I have nothing to moan about, I've great family and friends, all healthy and happy, so I have nothing to whinge about.
It's just exhausting :(
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