Today I saw a real live transplant, and it was one of my patients from a few placements back, so it was so nice to hear how they were doing and also nice to see them getting what they needed :)
Although it was absolutely amazing to see, something that now I have 2 shifts to go as a student, I probably won't ever get the chance to see again...it didn't excite me as much as I think it normally would have. Don't get me wrong, I loved it, I really appreciate being given the chance to see a transplant and looking back a year ago I would have literally done anything to see one, I think there are two (or possibly three) main reasons why I wasn't as excited about it...so on reflection (!) they are...
1) When I was first a student, I was excited and naive enough to be excited by watching surgery. It makes a lot of the anatomy side of things make sense, and I learn SO much from watching, and I know I've not much more time as a student left and I should enjoy it BUT when I was first a student it was an exciting thing to see but I didn't see the bigger picture. Now I'm getting on in my training I can't help but see the bigger picture. All I can think of is how the patients mam is doing (she donated) how the dad is feeling (he's waiting in the patients cubicle on his own) and how the patient will feel when they comes round. How quickly the patient and their mam will take to recover, how the dad will seperate his time between the two now that they're in different hospitals...all sorts. I feel like I can't see the black and white of things, but keep getting drawn into the grey, HOWEVER I don't think this is a bad thing at all. I feel like it's making me become a real nurse that I care about all aspects of this family.
2) I was with another student who was also in her final year, though not on her management placement, and to be honest, she was the most irritating person I have met in a long while. She thinks nurses are useless and she wants to be a doctor. So why do nursing I hear you ask? Because it makes the post graduate medicine program easier to get on to with clinical experience and also that post grad course is quicker to do (4 years as opposed to 6 or whatever). So what? Why take up the place of a potential nursing student by doing a course you don't like when you could just do into medicine first hand? She wants to do her management in theatres and she proceeded to tell me throughout the (wrong) information during the operation, I didn't say anything, just let her be cos you know what? I want to be a NURSE and I see the patient as a person, not a body. And I'm not ashamed. But this fellow student 'nurse' pretty much ruined things for me today and she made some pretty amazing mistakes when with the family in question, but it's ok, I was just glad to see the patient recover and hear their Mam did ok, then pass on the news to their dad that they was in recovery. THAT to me is real nursing, and though some people might see it as below being a doctor I don't care. It's what I love and I wouldn't change for the world.
3) I'm sad that I'm almost finished my training. I have LOVED every single second and whilst I don't cry, I can see some tears when I finish in two shifts time. It's scary to say goodbye to studentism (made up that word) and say hello to real life nursing. I've had to do an essay on the transition of student to nurse and although it's not handed in, I feel I've done badly because on some days I've mentally pre-made that transition whilst on others I'm still a student with so much more to learn and experience. I think this transition would be made so much easier on the ward I'm on, and that's how I've written the essay as I know I'd be supported so much here. Thing is there are no jobs, well none I can get, so I'm having to get my head around working on another ward and that's pretty scary!
Anyhoo that's an end to a very mixed feelings blog.
Monday, 15 November 2010
Saturday, 6 November 2010
6 Shifts Of Being A Student To Go
I've only got 6 shifts...or....two weeks...or...75 hours to go as a student nurse.
It makes me SO sad! I want to stay longer and work more. I still feel like I have SO much more to learn. I love the ward, the kids, the people, the MDT, I love it all. I want to stay here and never ever leave. I wish management placement was a year long. OK, that may be going too far, I couldn't survive another year on student wages, but I still feel like I have so much more to learn, experience and do and this ward is just the absolutely perfect place to do it. I want a job here! I LOVE IT!
Back to reality, there are only 4 things standing between me getting signed off as a 'proper' nurse...PROPER NURSE!
1) Getting competencies signed off, as I've had hardly any signed off this placement, no fault of anyone, just cos it's gone so quickly and we're always busy it's hard to find the time!
2) Passing the essay I just handed in
3) Writing and passing this essay I'm doing at the moment
4) THE FINAL ACTUAL REAL SIGNING OFF
AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
So excited yet so scared, worried and still doubtful that I will do all this. I'll either fail an essay or be told I can't be signed off. I won't believe it til I have it on paper.
To add to it, there are...NO....jobs going. Well a couple in A&E of which I've applied for, but as a rule, with two hospitals merging right now, it's not the best time. Still, fingers crossed, something will happen.
But you know what, as for this ward I just love it, I can't imagine not being here, I don't know what I'll do when, in just TWO WEEKS, I don't have to get up early anymore to come to work, don't have to wonder about patients on days off, don't have to work my life around shifts...will seem so strange, and a strange I don't like!
Can't lie in that I'll appreciate having Christmas off for probably the last time ever! But, for this ward, I would actually be ok working Christmas Day, I'd love to see the kids faces in the morning.
Anyway, time for sleep I think, haven't been sleeping well, am worried about having no money after my last bursary in December, applied for all sorts of Christmas jobs to tide me over, but what I really want is a nurse job. A first real nurse job. It probably won't happen on this ward, but even though I love this ward so much, I am willing to work any ward, I JUST WANT TO BE A NURSE!!!
It makes me SO sad! I want to stay longer and work more. I still feel like I have SO much more to learn. I love the ward, the kids, the people, the MDT, I love it all. I want to stay here and never ever leave. I wish management placement was a year long. OK, that may be going too far, I couldn't survive another year on student wages, but I still feel like I have so much more to learn, experience and do and this ward is just the absolutely perfect place to do it. I want a job here! I LOVE IT!
Back to reality, there are only 4 things standing between me getting signed off as a 'proper' nurse...PROPER NURSE!
1) Getting competencies signed off, as I've had hardly any signed off this placement, no fault of anyone, just cos it's gone so quickly and we're always busy it's hard to find the time!
2) Passing the essay I just handed in
3) Writing and passing this essay I'm doing at the moment
4) THE FINAL ACTUAL REAL SIGNING OFF
AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
So excited yet so scared, worried and still doubtful that I will do all this. I'll either fail an essay or be told I can't be signed off. I won't believe it til I have it on paper.
To add to it, there are...NO....jobs going. Well a couple in A&E of which I've applied for, but as a rule, with two hospitals merging right now, it's not the best time. Still, fingers crossed, something will happen.
But you know what, as for this ward I just love it, I can't imagine not being here, I don't know what I'll do when, in just TWO WEEKS, I don't have to get up early anymore to come to work, don't have to wonder about patients on days off, don't have to work my life around shifts...will seem so strange, and a strange I don't like!
Can't lie in that I'll appreciate having Christmas off for probably the last time ever! But, for this ward, I would actually be ok working Christmas Day, I'd love to see the kids faces in the morning.
Anyway, time for sleep I think, haven't been sleeping well, am worried about having no money after my last bursary in December, applied for all sorts of Christmas jobs to tide me over, but what I really want is a nurse job. A first real nurse job. It probably won't happen on this ward, but even though I love this ward so much, I am willing to work any ward, I JUST WANT TO BE A NURSE!!!
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
So much to say, so little time!
Hey! Ohhhh I feel like I have SO much to say but literally never get any free time in which to do it!
Ok so two major things I can talk about. My FIRST ever nursey interview and my FINAL tutors visit.
FIRST INTERVIEW...
Was ok, I was nervous as always, tried my very best, gave it all I had but still didn't get the job. I could say it was never *really* my job to have, or I could just say it was a nice first interview, of which I got experience from and will build upon, but either way I got some positive feedback and even if they just said nice things to make me feel better then that's ok. Just was really hard to go back to the ward the next day as a student knowing I'd been rejected...hmmm sound sad but when I found out I'd not go it, I resorted to a nice hot bath, some cheesy episodes of Glee and a good cry. That said, I was right as rain the following day (til the nursery nurse hugged me!) but I was ok and have been since. It's just made me realise that I LOVE the ward I'm at and so want a job here, but even if none now, I will keep applying til I get a job here.
My actual interview was good, they were so nice and I did all I could. I've applied for a couple of jobs since but, lets face it, I've fallen in love with this ward, I want to work here, I'll just have to keep trying.
Ok so second point, my tutor came for the last visit before I (if I) qualify and all I got was some good comments off my mentor which surprised me loads!
I feel now like I could actually be a nurse, I've pushed myself so far this placement, this whole course even. I've changed as a person and I've learnt so much about everything. The one thing missing is that I don't, as yet have a job, but hopefully soon that will change.
If I was going to pick one thing which I thought would be better, that would be the other girls on my course. I feel as though, apart from a couple, I've been so let down by them. I feel like I've always been there for them but am feeling pretty much alone when I'm not needed. Friendship is meant to be a two way thing.
Whatever, I don't care, I'm nearing the end of this journey of training to be a nurse and I am SO excited. I'm so happy I could literally burst. I have some essays to do, and whilst the tutors aren't being much help I'm feeling that I can still do it.
NOT LONG TO GO!!!
Ok so two major things I can talk about. My FIRST ever nursey interview and my FINAL tutors visit.
FIRST INTERVIEW...
Was ok, I was nervous as always, tried my very best, gave it all I had but still didn't get the job. I could say it was never *really* my job to have, or I could just say it was a nice first interview, of which I got experience from and will build upon, but either way I got some positive feedback and even if they just said nice things to make me feel better then that's ok. Just was really hard to go back to the ward the next day as a student knowing I'd been rejected...hmmm sound sad but when I found out I'd not go it, I resorted to a nice hot bath, some cheesy episodes of Glee and a good cry. That said, I was right as rain the following day (til the nursery nurse hugged me!) but I was ok and have been since. It's just made me realise that I LOVE the ward I'm at and so want a job here, but even if none now, I will keep applying til I get a job here.
My actual interview was good, they were so nice and I did all I could. I've applied for a couple of jobs since but, lets face it, I've fallen in love with this ward, I want to work here, I'll just have to keep trying.
Ok so second point, my tutor came for the last visit before I (if I) qualify and all I got was some good comments off my mentor which surprised me loads!
I feel now like I could actually be a nurse, I've pushed myself so far this placement, this whole course even. I've changed as a person and I've learnt so much about everything. The one thing missing is that I don't, as yet have a job, but hopefully soon that will change.
If I was going to pick one thing which I thought would be better, that would be the other girls on my course. I feel as though, apart from a couple, I've been so let down by them. I feel like I've always been there for them but am feeling pretty much alone when I'm not needed. Friendship is meant to be a two way thing.
Whatever, I don't care, I'm nearing the end of this journey of training to be a nurse and I am SO excited. I'm so happy I could literally burst. I have some essays to do, and whilst the tutors aren't being much help I'm feeling that I can still do it.
NOT LONG TO GO!!!
Tuesday, 21 September 2010
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
Assertiveness? Past Caring? Slight Confidence? Something Else? Not sure of this blog title...
So, like the title suggests, I'm not sure of what the title of this blog should be but I'm glad to write that I'm feeling better than I was last time I blogged, which is, good!
My last few weeks I've just stuck to concentrating on what I'm trying to do, and that is being the best nurse I can be. So far it seems to be paying off and I'm learning loads and I actually LOVE the ward I'm on. I think I'm slowly (but surely!) learning that even though I've probably said before it's not the nurses on the wards, but the patients that make the difference. Really, I'm learning that this is a lie and sometimes (or even most the time?) it's nothing about the patients, it's more to do with the nurses or other staff that is on that day, which makes a difference as to how your shift goes. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm starting to see myself as part of the team? A bit? Or not?
If you're working with good nurses and other staff, those of which you're not afraid to ask advice or question things, then you generally have a nicer day. If you're working with staff which you feel you can't ask things for fear of their bad mood rubbing off and putting a negative atmosphere up for the rest of the day, then you go home feeling like crap. It's just a bit difficult when you're working with people of whom you can't predict their mood, til the moment you walk through the door, that's when it's difficult, and to be honest it makes me wonder how one person can have such an effect on a ward?
ANYWAY, enough about that, I'm just writing a little update as I have a weeks study leave (during which I have LOADS of work to do....BOOO!) but I just thought I'd get it down before I need to concentrate on essays and stuff.
I'm still really happy that I'm doing what I'm doing, I don't regret a second of it as life's too short for regrets, but sometimes I look back and wish I'd stuck up for myself and said more often to myself 'you know what, you're not as shit as you think you are' as that would really have helped. Guess I need to get a bit more confidence, easier said than done, ey?!
As for this placement, I've challenged myself even when I've not been as supported as I needed to be, and I'm actually glad, as it shows I can do things by myself and I can do them well. I'm learning even more to see my own limitations and I'm recognising the blurry edge between 'things I can do but don't have the confidence' and 'things I really can't do and if I don't get help when I ask from one person, ask and ask until someone will help'...if that makes sense?
Oh and before I finish this blog, I surprised myself when I did my management stint, I took control of a ward, allocated patients, pushed my communication skills further than I could and even if I was feeling negative about managing a ward before, I really can see that instead of feeling that I couldn't, I tried to see it as a learning experience and found that it actually made me appreciate the role a whole lot more. Whilst I still, at the moment, feel I don't want the responsibility of being a sister (fair enough from a student!) I can see a bit more why someone might want that challenge, just not right now when I'm not even a qualified nurse yet...!
Still, hoping I actually pass, but feeling a bit more 'fight' that if I do get failed, I really will not stand for it. Hard as it is to stay, I feel I am a good nurse, I don't know everything by a long shot and I have so much to learn, but I acknowledge this and plan to study so much more, when (if...) I qualify, but as it stands I think at my point in time, I'm actually doing okay, and I will challenge anyone that tells me otherwise.
That's not arrogance, just a little more self belief, which has taken 27 years to gain.
My last few weeks I've just stuck to concentrating on what I'm trying to do, and that is being the best nurse I can be. So far it seems to be paying off and I'm learning loads and I actually LOVE the ward I'm on. I think I'm slowly (but surely!) learning that even though I've probably said before it's not the nurses on the wards, but the patients that make the difference. Really, I'm learning that this is a lie and sometimes (or even most the time?) it's nothing about the patients, it's more to do with the nurses or other staff that is on that day, which makes a difference as to how your shift goes. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm starting to see myself as part of the team? A bit? Or not?
If you're working with good nurses and other staff, those of which you're not afraid to ask advice or question things, then you generally have a nicer day. If you're working with staff which you feel you can't ask things for fear of their bad mood rubbing off and putting a negative atmosphere up for the rest of the day, then you go home feeling like crap. It's just a bit difficult when you're working with people of whom you can't predict their mood, til the moment you walk through the door, that's when it's difficult, and to be honest it makes me wonder how one person can have such an effect on a ward?
ANYWAY, enough about that, I'm just writing a little update as I have a weeks study leave (during which I have LOADS of work to do....BOOO!) but I just thought I'd get it down before I need to concentrate on essays and stuff.
I'm still really happy that I'm doing what I'm doing, I don't regret a second of it as life's too short for regrets, but sometimes I look back and wish I'd stuck up for myself and said more often to myself 'you know what, you're not as shit as you think you are' as that would really have helped. Guess I need to get a bit more confidence, easier said than done, ey?!
As for this placement, I've challenged myself even when I've not been as supported as I needed to be, and I'm actually glad, as it shows I can do things by myself and I can do them well. I'm learning even more to see my own limitations and I'm recognising the blurry edge between 'things I can do but don't have the confidence' and 'things I really can't do and if I don't get help when I ask from one person, ask and ask until someone will help'...if that makes sense?
Oh and before I finish this blog, I surprised myself when I did my management stint, I took control of a ward, allocated patients, pushed my communication skills further than I could and even if I was feeling negative about managing a ward before, I really can see that instead of feeling that I couldn't, I tried to see it as a learning experience and found that it actually made me appreciate the role a whole lot more. Whilst I still, at the moment, feel I don't want the responsibility of being a sister (fair enough from a student!) I can see a bit more why someone might want that challenge, just not right now when I'm not even a qualified nurse yet...!
Still, hoping I actually pass, but feeling a bit more 'fight' that if I do get failed, I really will not stand for it. Hard as it is to stay, I feel I am a good nurse, I don't know everything by a long shot and I have so much to learn, but I acknowledge this and plan to study so much more, when (if...) I qualify, but as it stands I think at my point in time, I'm actually doing okay, and I will challenge anyone that tells me otherwise.
That's not arrogance, just a little more self belief, which has taken 27 years to gain.
Tuesday, 24 August 2010
Big Kick In The Teeth
I've just looked at my last blog post and I sounded so happy. Strange how time can change things, when it's only been...weeks?
OK start from the beginning I guess...and this is going to be a LONG blog I think.
Right so as of last blog I was all happy and excited and smiley and loving it. Well...things have changed a bit since then. First off my tutor came to visit and whilst I thought I was going ok, even actually maybe...well? Turns out I'm not and I'm so so so upset about it.
I think the main reason I'm upset it because I don't think the things my mentor said were completely fair. In my Uni we get given a 'traffic light system' GREEN if you're doing ok, AMBER if you need to be given an action plan and contact the practice placements facilitator and a RED if you're majorly failing. I've always managed a green but this time I was nearly given an amber, which I was surprised about as I'd already discussed things. There were 2 reasons for it almost being an amber, 1) I'm too quiet 2) Time Management. First off to forget number 2, I'm always in early, I don't skive, always keep myself busy and offer to do tasks for other nurses when (if!) I find myself going through a quiet half hour on the ward. So I really don't agree with that at all. Whilst I was first upset with it, I'm actually more annoyed with it, due to my mentors 'time management' themself...
Anyway, number 1, ok I can see that I do sometimes need to be more assertive, but to be fair we were talking about 'delegating tasks' to other members of the nursing teams, including sisters, staff nurses and HCA's...I can understand whole heartedly if I was doing this on my 'management' days which I've booked in, but other than that am I really expected to tell others what to do as a STUDENT NURSE?! I mean really. Words fail me. I'm not a noisy bossy person to start with, and you know what, I'm not willing to change for anyone. If I get failed for being 'too quiet' then I will fail knowing that I have been true to myself. Whilst I hope so much I'm not failed, I can't change my personality and ME to get some competencies signed off. That shouldn't be what this placement is about and I feel like I'm going to have this hanging over me til Christmas when I finish and this makes me feel so bad.
I think, if I can speak frankly about things, the stupid little ridiculous things like this are making me fall out of love with nursing. They really are and it makes me so sad. I find myself thinking that a 9-5 job in an office/shop/whatever would be so much better. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not cut out for it. Maybe I'm just not good enough?
OK start from the beginning I guess...and this is going to be a LONG blog I think.
Right so as of last blog I was all happy and excited and smiley and loving it. Well...things have changed a bit since then. First off my tutor came to visit and whilst I thought I was going ok, even actually maybe...well? Turns out I'm not and I'm so so so upset about it.
I think the main reason I'm upset it because I don't think the things my mentor said were completely fair. In my Uni we get given a 'traffic light system' GREEN if you're doing ok, AMBER if you need to be given an action plan and contact the practice placements facilitator and a RED if you're majorly failing. I've always managed a green but this time I was nearly given an amber, which I was surprised about as I'd already discussed things. There were 2 reasons for it almost being an amber, 1) I'm too quiet 2) Time Management. First off to forget number 2, I'm always in early, I don't skive, always keep myself busy and offer to do tasks for other nurses when (if!) I find myself going through a quiet half hour on the ward. So I really don't agree with that at all. Whilst I was first upset with it, I'm actually more annoyed with it, due to my mentors 'time management' themself...
Anyway, number 1, ok I can see that I do sometimes need to be more assertive, but to be fair we were talking about 'delegating tasks' to other members of the nursing teams, including sisters, staff nurses and HCA's...I can understand whole heartedly if I was doing this on my 'management' days which I've booked in, but other than that am I really expected to tell others what to do as a STUDENT NURSE?! I mean really. Words fail me. I'm not a noisy bossy person to start with, and you know what, I'm not willing to change for anyone. If I get failed for being 'too quiet' then I will fail knowing that I have been true to myself. Whilst I hope so much I'm not failed, I can't change my personality and ME to get some competencies signed off. That shouldn't be what this placement is about and I feel like I'm going to have this hanging over me til Christmas when I finish and this makes me feel so bad.
I think, if I can speak frankly about things, the stupid little ridiculous things like this are making me fall out of love with nursing. They really are and it makes me so sad. I find myself thinking that a 9-5 job in an office/shop/whatever would be so much better. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not cut out for it. Maybe I'm just not good enough?
Wednesday, 11 August 2010
So far, so good
Ok, so pretty much 4 weeks into my management placement and so far I can honestly say I'M LOVING IT!!!
It's such a nice ward, everyone is lovely, which is half the battle (trust me!) but I really really love it. I'm learning SO much! I've been given my own patients since about the second week, which I thought would scare me so much, but I've been given the 'nice' (as in easy) patients so far, which I think is my wards way of breaking me in a bit, they're being so nice and it's making me feel like I 'can' do it.
My main fear is drugs, I'm so scared of giving an overdose or not noticing when a doctor has prescribed too much...would I notice? Right at this present moment, to be brutally honest, I don't think I would. I need to have doses for the main drugs imprinted in my brain, maybe at the moment I rely too much on other nurses - I'm hoping I will learn more towards the end of this placement. I mean I can always use the BNF but maybe I should get into the habit of using it to check everytime? Just an idea? As of now I've drawn up the drugs and got two nurses to check before I give it, and whilst I've made NO mistakes, I really do support the 'second checker' rule in paediatrics, cos as a student paeds nurse, you're (unofficially) the first checker, then the other two nurses are checking too so you're kind of protected, in that, the dose has been checked by 3 people.
Apart from that, I really have, for the first time ever, let myself believe that I CAN do this. All though my course and placements so far, I've not allowed myself to think I'm good enough to do it, but this time, I really think I could actually pass and become a nurse. This is my DREAM. To be this close to a dream I've wanted for so long, I am so excited. I know I don't always show it, don't always let the others around me see how happy I'm feeling, I'm able to control my emotions so tightly but I'm gradually learning that it's ok to let people in and that in doing so I can be an even better nurse.
Basically, what can I say? I AM SO HAPPY DOING WHAT I'M DOING! I love it so much. I feel so grateful for being given this chance and I am so proud to be a 'nurse'...or will be officially in a few months. I don't care about the stressful times, I don't care about the working hours, even the responsibility doesn't faze me anymore, I just LOVE what I'm doing and feel so happy to be doing it.
It's the small things, the other day I was feeding a kid who was not feeding too good, and though I got a screaming hissy fit as I carried them to the dining table, and a major tantrum when I put the meal down in front of them...after half an hour of letting the child 'play' (MESSY!) with the food, they grabbed some in their hand and put it in their mouth and ate it...seven times! Doesn't seem like a big deal BUT they ate when they hadn't even tried before. I was so happy! I know I had nothing to do with it but I just felt so happy to have been there.
Anyway I should go, as high as I am with placement and loving it, I need to do some studying, I have to do a lit review and some other report/essay/assignment before the end of this placement and I have no idea when I will get the time...
It's such a nice ward, everyone is lovely, which is half the battle (trust me!) but I really really love it. I'm learning SO much! I've been given my own patients since about the second week, which I thought would scare me so much, but I've been given the 'nice' (as in easy) patients so far, which I think is my wards way of breaking me in a bit, they're being so nice and it's making me feel like I 'can' do it.
My main fear is drugs, I'm so scared of giving an overdose or not noticing when a doctor has prescribed too much...would I notice? Right at this present moment, to be brutally honest, I don't think I would. I need to have doses for the main drugs imprinted in my brain, maybe at the moment I rely too much on other nurses - I'm hoping I will learn more towards the end of this placement. I mean I can always use the BNF but maybe I should get into the habit of using it to check everytime? Just an idea? As of now I've drawn up the drugs and got two nurses to check before I give it, and whilst I've made NO mistakes, I really do support the 'second checker' rule in paediatrics, cos as a student paeds nurse, you're (unofficially) the first checker, then the other two nurses are checking too so you're kind of protected, in that, the dose has been checked by 3 people.
Apart from that, I really have, for the first time ever, let myself believe that I CAN do this. All though my course and placements so far, I've not allowed myself to think I'm good enough to do it, but this time, I really think I could actually pass and become a nurse. This is my DREAM. To be this close to a dream I've wanted for so long, I am so excited. I know I don't always show it, don't always let the others around me see how happy I'm feeling, I'm able to control my emotions so tightly but I'm gradually learning that it's ok to let people in and that in doing so I can be an even better nurse.
Basically, what can I say? I AM SO HAPPY DOING WHAT I'M DOING! I love it so much. I feel so grateful for being given this chance and I am so proud to be a 'nurse'...or will be officially in a few months. I don't care about the stressful times, I don't care about the working hours, even the responsibility doesn't faze me anymore, I just LOVE what I'm doing and feel so happy to be doing it.
It's the small things, the other day I was feeding a kid who was not feeding too good, and though I got a screaming hissy fit as I carried them to the dining table, and a major tantrum when I put the meal down in front of them...after half an hour of letting the child 'play' (MESSY!) with the food, they grabbed some in their hand and put it in their mouth and ate it...seven times! Doesn't seem like a big deal BUT they ate when they hadn't even tried before. I was so happy! I know I had nothing to do with it but I just felt so happy to have been there.
Anyway I should go, as high as I am with placement and loving it, I need to do some studying, I have to do a lit review and some other report/essay/assignment before the end of this placement and I have no idea when I will get the time...
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