Could be exciting right? I'm applying for jobs literally EVERYWHERE. For one of two reasons. Firstly...I NEED a job! But secondly, I quite fancy a new independant fresh start, somewhere to just learn who I am.
I've applied allover. Yorkshire, Preston, Doncaster, Wales...all over. Not that I've not applied nearer home, there has been ONE new job in Newcastle, which I've applied for and though ideally I'd like to stay here, I'd be more than happy to move away and meet new people, a new challenge...sometimes staying here I'd just feel I'm stuck in a rut. Even if it's only a move for a year or two, I think it'd do me the world of good. I am still hoping to do a year in Aussie so it'd be a good trial run, see how I cope, see how I feel.
To be fair I've been at home far too long, and whilst I love my family so so so much, I need to get out there and be me.
Anyway, hoping that at least one job will be giving me an interview at least!
Tuesday, 8 March 2011
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
Jobless...
I'm jobless. And really not through want of trying, but simply because there are NO Paediatric Nursing jobs in my area, and those which are so far afield which it'd require me to move away...I've applied for but not heard from.
I'm a little bit bored crazy here. I can't stand not having anything to do. There are only so many books I can read and so many DVD boxsets I can watch continuously. Ok, so if I'm honest, I'm quite enjoying the whole Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice DVD's on repeat but I'd so much rather be working or at least feel less guilty if I had a job offer and was simply waiting for HR and CRB clearance. I WANT A JOB!
I'm so fed up. I wouldn't say I was depressed as such, not by a long shot, but today I stayed in my jarmies all day and watched 'Come Dine With Me' episodes back to back...as I do a little too ofen these days. Anyway, then I thought 'hmmm I'll totally cook up a storm for everyone' (in my jarmies, of course) but only managed to make my salad soggy with too much dressing and parmeasan, gag with disgust on my baked figs with goats cheese, then burn the 'main' course. So, that didn't go to well.
Better luck tomorrow? What would make my day would be a single suitable (as in I have the qualifications!) paediatric nurse job that wasn't bank, in case I needed to move away - would need a permanent job offer to upsticks and leave - in which I could apply, hopefully get an interview, and then be offered it.
My family are trying to get me to 'sign on' but, and ok this isn't meant to come across as snobby...BUT I couldn't bear going on the dole, I'd be too afraid that I'd never get a job. As it is I'm living on my overdraft and it's not looking good BUT there is such a stigma for dole, you know? It's just a horrible place to be right now, I want to work, I'm qualified, I can't wait to get stuck in...BUT I just can't.
Whilst I'm not 'depressed' it is 'depressing'
Better news next blog post I hope, will still keep smiling...see... :oD
I'm a little bit bored crazy here. I can't stand not having anything to do. There are only so many books I can read and so many DVD boxsets I can watch continuously. Ok, so if I'm honest, I'm quite enjoying the whole Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice DVD's on repeat but I'd so much rather be working or at least feel less guilty if I had a job offer and was simply waiting for HR and CRB clearance. I WANT A JOB!
I'm so fed up. I wouldn't say I was depressed as such, not by a long shot, but today I stayed in my jarmies all day and watched 'Come Dine With Me' episodes back to back...as I do a little too ofen these days. Anyway, then I thought 'hmmm I'll totally cook up a storm for everyone' (in my jarmies, of course) but only managed to make my salad soggy with too much dressing and parmeasan, gag with disgust on my baked figs with goats cheese, then burn the 'main' course. So, that didn't go to well.
Better luck tomorrow? What would make my day would be a single suitable (as in I have the qualifications!) paediatric nurse job that wasn't bank, in case I needed to move away - would need a permanent job offer to upsticks and leave - in which I could apply, hopefully get an interview, and then be offered it.
My family are trying to get me to 'sign on' but, and ok this isn't meant to come across as snobby...BUT I couldn't bear going on the dole, I'd be too afraid that I'd never get a job. As it is I'm living on my overdraft and it's not looking good BUT there is such a stigma for dole, you know? It's just a horrible place to be right now, I want to work, I'm qualified, I can't wait to get stuck in...BUT I just can't.
Whilst I'm not 'depressed' it is 'depressing'
Better news next blog post I hope, will still keep smiling...see... :oD
Sunday, 16 January 2011
Final Marks
I got my final marks on Friday, passed everything and got a Commendation - to which I'm over the moon with! Yay!
I'm not sure of the process, but I know the NMC make contact and then you get put on the official register? Something like that?! We did have a lecture but missed the first ten minutes due to a little party we were having with the tutors with bucks fizz and nibbles, having so much fun we were late and missed the start of probably the most important lecture of that week...ooops!
Anyway all done, no more uni (for now...I do believe we have to submit written work for mentorship but that's in the future, won't worry now!)so my days are going to be strangely quiet and chilled out until I find someone daft enough to give me a job!
I'm not sure of the process, but I know the NMC make contact and then you get put on the official register? Something like that?! We did have a lecture but missed the first ten minutes due to a little party we were having with the tutors with bucks fizz and nibbles, having so much fun we were late and missed the start of probably the most important lecture of that week...ooops!
Anyway all done, no more uni (for now...I do believe we have to submit written work for mentorship but that's in the future, won't worry now!)so my days are going to be strangely quiet and chilled out until I find someone daft enough to give me a job!
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
New Year!
Happy New Year!!! 2011 is going to be fantastic, I can feel it!
Hope you all had a great Christmas! Mine was quiet, but good! I think in my family, as we don't have any younger kids it's easy to get drawn into the adult view of things, though whilst at my age, I am well aware of (what house to go to, where to have Christmas dinner, who with...etc) I long to have a little kid in the family which can bring back the magic a bit more :o)
Anyway! I am still jobless (in the nursey site, I 'work' just not nursiness work) which actually pains me to write. I don't know if it was my Uni or my own idealistic views but I was always under the impression that there would be jobs available when I qualify - notice I used 'when' there instead of 'if' - but sadly there actually are none, so I'm stuck in a job which I hate, am treat like crap and talked to like I am lower than I don't even know what...but it still earns me pennies so I guess I can't complain...
Hmmm I feel so FRUSTRATED that I'm so ready to be practicing as a nurse, but I actually CAN'T as there are no jobs! If I'd done adult or even mental health nursing it would not have been so bad on the job front, but as it stands in my City, the two main hospitals are merging which means NO JOBS!!!
So what else can I talk about?
My Last Week Of Uni
This was at the end of December, the week before Christmas. If I'm honest, my heart wasn't in it. I was on a high from finishing my management and had nothing (in my - and many others - opinions) from going in. There was only one week, or rather 3 days left. We did some lectures which pretty much 50% of the students went to, we did an Inter Professional Learning workshop, which to be fair, was fun as in, it was the last day, but didn't allow me (and many others) to gain much from, but it was Christmas and we did it with Christmas songs playing in the background...! Well apart from that it was just nice seeing everyone again.
Last Essay
I PASSED!!! I was (and still am!) so happy about it! I got 60% which is ok I guess, I usually try and get 60 or over but after the last essay, a pass of 50% would do! One of my friends on the course failed, and it sucks so much, made me realise I am luck to cross the last hurdle of the course and for that I am grateful.
Everything Else From Now On
Right now I am so happy I have passed. I AM A QUALIFIED PAEDIATRIC NURSE!!! I have reached my absolute dream and I can't wait to get a job and begin to build upon the skills I have started to develop. I can't wait to make a difference. I've heard people tell me I can't make any difference but I really believe that I can, and I will. Even if it's just something little like getting a child their favourite dinner post op, or being there for a parent who needs someone, or reassuring a teenager, or explaining something to carers who don't understand, or getting a family the support they need from an outside organisation - I can do it, I KNOW I can do it, and I will.
Don't think this is the end of this blog...there is still SO much more to come! Thanks for reading :o)
Hope you all had a great Christmas! Mine was quiet, but good! I think in my family, as we don't have any younger kids it's easy to get drawn into the adult view of things, though whilst at my age, I am well aware of (what house to go to, where to have Christmas dinner, who with...etc) I long to have a little kid in the family which can bring back the magic a bit more :o)
Anyway! I am still jobless (in the nursey site, I 'work' just not nursiness work) which actually pains me to write. I don't know if it was my Uni or my own idealistic views but I was always under the impression that there would be jobs available when I qualify - notice I used 'when' there instead of 'if' - but sadly there actually are none, so I'm stuck in a job which I hate, am treat like crap and talked to like I am lower than I don't even know what...but it still earns me pennies so I guess I can't complain...
Hmmm I feel so FRUSTRATED that I'm so ready to be practicing as a nurse, but I actually CAN'T as there are no jobs! If I'd done adult or even mental health nursing it would not have been so bad on the job front, but as it stands in my City, the two main hospitals are merging which means NO JOBS!!!
So what else can I talk about?
My Last Week Of Uni
This was at the end of December, the week before Christmas. If I'm honest, my heart wasn't in it. I was on a high from finishing my management and had nothing (in my - and many others - opinions) from going in. There was only one week, or rather 3 days left. We did some lectures which pretty much 50% of the students went to, we did an Inter Professional Learning workshop, which to be fair, was fun as in, it was the last day, but didn't allow me (and many others) to gain much from, but it was Christmas and we did it with Christmas songs playing in the background...! Well apart from that it was just nice seeing everyone again.
Last Essay
I PASSED!!! I was (and still am!) so happy about it! I got 60% which is ok I guess, I usually try and get 60 or over but after the last essay, a pass of 50% would do! One of my friends on the course failed, and it sucks so much, made me realise I am luck to cross the last hurdle of the course and for that I am grateful.
Everything Else From Now On
Right now I am so happy I have passed. I AM A QUALIFIED PAEDIATRIC NURSE!!! I have reached my absolute dream and I can't wait to get a job and begin to build upon the skills I have started to develop. I can't wait to make a difference. I've heard people tell me I can't make any difference but I really believe that I can, and I will. Even if it's just something little like getting a child their favourite dinner post op, or being there for a parent who needs someone, or reassuring a teenager, or explaining something to carers who don't understand, or getting a family the support they need from an outside organisation - I can do it, I KNOW I can do it, and I will.
Don't think this is the end of this blog...there is still SO much more to come! Thanks for reading :o)
Monday, 15 November 2010
Real Live Transplant!
Today I saw a real live transplant, and it was one of my patients from a few placements back, so it was so nice to hear how they were doing and also nice to see them getting what they needed :)
Although it was absolutely amazing to see, something that now I have 2 shifts to go as a student, I probably won't ever get the chance to see again...it didn't excite me as much as I think it normally would have. Don't get me wrong, I loved it, I really appreciate being given the chance to see a transplant and looking back a year ago I would have literally done anything to see one, I think there are two (or possibly three) main reasons why I wasn't as excited about it...so on reflection (!) they are...
1) When I was first a student, I was excited and naive enough to be excited by watching surgery. It makes a lot of the anatomy side of things make sense, and I learn SO much from watching, and I know I've not much more time as a student left and I should enjoy it BUT when I was first a student it was an exciting thing to see but I didn't see the bigger picture. Now I'm getting on in my training I can't help but see the bigger picture. All I can think of is how the patients mam is doing (she donated) how the dad is feeling (he's waiting in the patients cubicle on his own) and how the patient will feel when they comes round. How quickly the patient and their mam will take to recover, how the dad will seperate his time between the two now that they're in different hospitals...all sorts. I feel like I can't see the black and white of things, but keep getting drawn into the grey, HOWEVER I don't think this is a bad thing at all. I feel like it's making me become a real nurse that I care about all aspects of this family.
2) I was with another student who was also in her final year, though not on her management placement, and to be honest, she was the most irritating person I have met in a long while. She thinks nurses are useless and she wants to be a doctor. So why do nursing I hear you ask? Because it makes the post graduate medicine program easier to get on to with clinical experience and also that post grad course is quicker to do (4 years as opposed to 6 or whatever). So what? Why take up the place of a potential nursing student by doing a course you don't like when you could just do into medicine first hand? She wants to do her management in theatres and she proceeded to tell me throughout the (wrong) information during the operation, I didn't say anything, just let her be cos you know what? I want to be a NURSE and I see the patient as a person, not a body. And I'm not ashamed. But this fellow student 'nurse' pretty much ruined things for me today and she made some pretty amazing mistakes when with the family in question, but it's ok, I was just glad to see the patient recover and hear their Mam did ok, then pass on the news to their dad that they was in recovery. THAT to me is real nursing, and though some people might see it as below being a doctor I don't care. It's what I love and I wouldn't change for the world.
3) I'm sad that I'm almost finished my training. I have LOVED every single second and whilst I don't cry, I can see some tears when I finish in two shifts time. It's scary to say goodbye to studentism (made up that word) and say hello to real life nursing. I've had to do an essay on the transition of student to nurse and although it's not handed in, I feel I've done badly because on some days I've mentally pre-made that transition whilst on others I'm still a student with so much more to learn and experience. I think this transition would be made so much easier on the ward I'm on, and that's how I've written the essay as I know I'd be supported so much here. Thing is there are no jobs, well none I can get, so I'm having to get my head around working on another ward and that's pretty scary!
Anyhoo that's an end to a very mixed feelings blog.
Although it was absolutely amazing to see, something that now I have 2 shifts to go as a student, I probably won't ever get the chance to see again...it didn't excite me as much as I think it normally would have. Don't get me wrong, I loved it, I really appreciate being given the chance to see a transplant and looking back a year ago I would have literally done anything to see one, I think there are two (or possibly three) main reasons why I wasn't as excited about it...so on reflection (!) they are...
1) When I was first a student, I was excited and naive enough to be excited by watching surgery. It makes a lot of the anatomy side of things make sense, and I learn SO much from watching, and I know I've not much more time as a student left and I should enjoy it BUT when I was first a student it was an exciting thing to see but I didn't see the bigger picture. Now I'm getting on in my training I can't help but see the bigger picture. All I can think of is how the patients mam is doing (she donated) how the dad is feeling (he's waiting in the patients cubicle on his own) and how the patient will feel when they comes round. How quickly the patient and their mam will take to recover, how the dad will seperate his time between the two now that they're in different hospitals...all sorts. I feel like I can't see the black and white of things, but keep getting drawn into the grey, HOWEVER I don't think this is a bad thing at all. I feel like it's making me become a real nurse that I care about all aspects of this family.
2) I was with another student who was also in her final year, though not on her management placement, and to be honest, she was the most irritating person I have met in a long while. She thinks nurses are useless and she wants to be a doctor. So why do nursing I hear you ask? Because it makes the post graduate medicine program easier to get on to with clinical experience and also that post grad course is quicker to do (4 years as opposed to 6 or whatever). So what? Why take up the place of a potential nursing student by doing a course you don't like when you could just do into medicine first hand? She wants to do her management in theatres and she proceeded to tell me throughout the (wrong) information during the operation, I didn't say anything, just let her be cos you know what? I want to be a NURSE and I see the patient as a person, not a body. And I'm not ashamed. But this fellow student 'nurse' pretty much ruined things for me today and she made some pretty amazing mistakes when with the family in question, but it's ok, I was just glad to see the patient recover and hear their Mam did ok, then pass on the news to their dad that they was in recovery. THAT to me is real nursing, and though some people might see it as below being a doctor I don't care. It's what I love and I wouldn't change for the world.
3) I'm sad that I'm almost finished my training. I have LOVED every single second and whilst I don't cry, I can see some tears when I finish in two shifts time. It's scary to say goodbye to studentism (made up that word) and say hello to real life nursing. I've had to do an essay on the transition of student to nurse and although it's not handed in, I feel I've done badly because on some days I've mentally pre-made that transition whilst on others I'm still a student with so much more to learn and experience. I think this transition would be made so much easier on the ward I'm on, and that's how I've written the essay as I know I'd be supported so much here. Thing is there are no jobs, well none I can get, so I'm having to get my head around working on another ward and that's pretty scary!
Anyhoo that's an end to a very mixed feelings blog.
Saturday, 6 November 2010
6 Shifts Of Being A Student To Go
I've only got 6 shifts...or....two weeks...or...75 hours to go as a student nurse.
It makes me SO sad! I want to stay longer and work more. I still feel like I have SO much more to learn. I love the ward, the kids, the people, the MDT, I love it all. I want to stay here and never ever leave. I wish management placement was a year long. OK, that may be going too far, I couldn't survive another year on student wages, but I still feel like I have so much more to learn, experience and do and this ward is just the absolutely perfect place to do it. I want a job here! I LOVE IT!
Back to reality, there are only 4 things standing between me getting signed off as a 'proper' nurse...PROPER NURSE!
1) Getting competencies signed off, as I've had hardly any signed off this placement, no fault of anyone, just cos it's gone so quickly and we're always busy it's hard to find the time!
2) Passing the essay I just handed in
3) Writing and passing this essay I'm doing at the moment
4) THE FINAL ACTUAL REAL SIGNING OFF
AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
So excited yet so scared, worried and still doubtful that I will do all this. I'll either fail an essay or be told I can't be signed off. I won't believe it til I have it on paper.
To add to it, there are...NO....jobs going. Well a couple in A&E of which I've applied for, but as a rule, with two hospitals merging right now, it's not the best time. Still, fingers crossed, something will happen.
But you know what, as for this ward I just love it, I can't imagine not being here, I don't know what I'll do when, in just TWO WEEKS, I don't have to get up early anymore to come to work, don't have to wonder about patients on days off, don't have to work my life around shifts...will seem so strange, and a strange I don't like!
Can't lie in that I'll appreciate having Christmas off for probably the last time ever! But, for this ward, I would actually be ok working Christmas Day, I'd love to see the kids faces in the morning.
Anyway, time for sleep I think, haven't been sleeping well, am worried about having no money after my last bursary in December, applied for all sorts of Christmas jobs to tide me over, but what I really want is a nurse job. A first real nurse job. It probably won't happen on this ward, but even though I love this ward so much, I am willing to work any ward, I JUST WANT TO BE A NURSE!!!
It makes me SO sad! I want to stay longer and work more. I still feel like I have SO much more to learn. I love the ward, the kids, the people, the MDT, I love it all. I want to stay here and never ever leave. I wish management placement was a year long. OK, that may be going too far, I couldn't survive another year on student wages, but I still feel like I have so much more to learn, experience and do and this ward is just the absolutely perfect place to do it. I want a job here! I LOVE IT!
Back to reality, there are only 4 things standing between me getting signed off as a 'proper' nurse...PROPER NURSE!
1) Getting competencies signed off, as I've had hardly any signed off this placement, no fault of anyone, just cos it's gone so quickly and we're always busy it's hard to find the time!
2) Passing the essay I just handed in
3) Writing and passing this essay I'm doing at the moment
4) THE FINAL ACTUAL REAL SIGNING OFF
AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
So excited yet so scared, worried and still doubtful that I will do all this. I'll either fail an essay or be told I can't be signed off. I won't believe it til I have it on paper.
To add to it, there are...NO....jobs going. Well a couple in A&E of which I've applied for, but as a rule, with two hospitals merging right now, it's not the best time. Still, fingers crossed, something will happen.
But you know what, as for this ward I just love it, I can't imagine not being here, I don't know what I'll do when, in just TWO WEEKS, I don't have to get up early anymore to come to work, don't have to wonder about patients on days off, don't have to work my life around shifts...will seem so strange, and a strange I don't like!
Can't lie in that I'll appreciate having Christmas off for probably the last time ever! But, for this ward, I would actually be ok working Christmas Day, I'd love to see the kids faces in the morning.
Anyway, time for sleep I think, haven't been sleeping well, am worried about having no money after my last bursary in December, applied for all sorts of Christmas jobs to tide me over, but what I really want is a nurse job. A first real nurse job. It probably won't happen on this ward, but even though I love this ward so much, I am willing to work any ward, I JUST WANT TO BE A NURSE!!!
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
So much to say, so little time!
Hey! Ohhhh I feel like I have SO much to say but literally never get any free time in which to do it!
Ok so two major things I can talk about. My FIRST ever nursey interview and my FINAL tutors visit.
FIRST INTERVIEW...
Was ok, I was nervous as always, tried my very best, gave it all I had but still didn't get the job. I could say it was never *really* my job to have, or I could just say it was a nice first interview, of which I got experience from and will build upon, but either way I got some positive feedback and even if they just said nice things to make me feel better then that's ok. Just was really hard to go back to the ward the next day as a student knowing I'd been rejected...hmmm sound sad but when I found out I'd not go it, I resorted to a nice hot bath, some cheesy episodes of Glee and a good cry. That said, I was right as rain the following day (til the nursery nurse hugged me!) but I was ok and have been since. It's just made me realise that I LOVE the ward I'm at and so want a job here, but even if none now, I will keep applying til I get a job here.
My actual interview was good, they were so nice and I did all I could. I've applied for a couple of jobs since but, lets face it, I've fallen in love with this ward, I want to work here, I'll just have to keep trying.
Ok so second point, my tutor came for the last visit before I (if I) qualify and all I got was some good comments off my mentor which surprised me loads!
I feel now like I could actually be a nurse, I've pushed myself so far this placement, this whole course even. I've changed as a person and I've learnt so much about everything. The one thing missing is that I don't, as yet have a job, but hopefully soon that will change.
If I was going to pick one thing which I thought would be better, that would be the other girls on my course. I feel as though, apart from a couple, I've been so let down by them. I feel like I've always been there for them but am feeling pretty much alone when I'm not needed. Friendship is meant to be a two way thing.
Whatever, I don't care, I'm nearing the end of this journey of training to be a nurse and I am SO excited. I'm so happy I could literally burst. I have some essays to do, and whilst the tutors aren't being much help I'm feeling that I can still do it.
NOT LONG TO GO!!!
Ok so two major things I can talk about. My FIRST ever nursey interview and my FINAL tutors visit.
FIRST INTERVIEW...
Was ok, I was nervous as always, tried my very best, gave it all I had but still didn't get the job. I could say it was never *really* my job to have, or I could just say it was a nice first interview, of which I got experience from and will build upon, but either way I got some positive feedback and even if they just said nice things to make me feel better then that's ok. Just was really hard to go back to the ward the next day as a student knowing I'd been rejected...hmmm sound sad but when I found out I'd not go it, I resorted to a nice hot bath, some cheesy episodes of Glee and a good cry. That said, I was right as rain the following day (til the nursery nurse hugged me!) but I was ok and have been since. It's just made me realise that I LOVE the ward I'm at and so want a job here, but even if none now, I will keep applying til I get a job here.
My actual interview was good, they were so nice and I did all I could. I've applied for a couple of jobs since but, lets face it, I've fallen in love with this ward, I want to work here, I'll just have to keep trying.
Ok so second point, my tutor came for the last visit before I (if I) qualify and all I got was some good comments off my mentor which surprised me loads!
I feel now like I could actually be a nurse, I've pushed myself so far this placement, this whole course even. I've changed as a person and I've learnt so much about everything. The one thing missing is that I don't, as yet have a job, but hopefully soon that will change.
If I was going to pick one thing which I thought would be better, that would be the other girls on my course. I feel as though, apart from a couple, I've been so let down by them. I feel like I've always been there for them but am feeling pretty much alone when I'm not needed. Friendship is meant to be a two way thing.
Whatever, I don't care, I'm nearing the end of this journey of training to be a nurse and I am SO excited. I'm so happy I could literally burst. I have some essays to do, and whilst the tutors aren't being much help I'm feeling that I can still do it.
NOT LONG TO GO!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
