Time For The Big One...!

Firstly, two things. One I've finished all my uni lectures. We have one week at the end of December which we need to go in for, but it's kinda like a bit of a conference thing I believe. No more teaching lectures. How quick has that gone?! Second, I start my management placement next week...AAAHHHH!!!!! I. Am. Scared. I really don't know where the time has gone and I feel really mixed up about it all. Let me explain. Sometimes I'm feeling so ridiculously happy, just this long placement then I will get to be a real nurse, doing something I absolutely adore AND hopefully will find someone daft enough to give me a job. Sometimes though I feel absolutely terrified, like this is it. I feel nowhere near enough ready, I don't feel prepared. We have to get one competency signed off where you need to manage the ward for a day. Come on, me...manage? I really can't see that happening and I'm already stressing myself out over it. I mean we've had this really big module about leadership and management and I'm really not ashamed to admit that I'm not a leader, sheep all the way! Hmmmm maybe in a couple of years I might feel differently, but at the moment, that's how I feel and I really can't see myself managing a ward, however I'll do like I always do, give it my all and try my best and see how things go.

Today I visited my ward that I'll be doing my final placement on and the people seem lovely, but it seemed really quiet so (not that I want kids to get ill!) but I hope it does get a bit busier. I was wondering the other day if I'd done the right thing by taking a risk and choosing to go to a ward I haven't been on, I could have taken a much safer option on gone somewhere I'd already been but I just wanted to experience as many different types of ward as I could, so I bit the bullet and put done places I'd not done a placement on.

What else? Ohhh the only other thing sepearating me from qualifying is two assignments. One is a literature review which is due in first, and the other is a research proposal (I think...!). I have NO idea how to do a lit review, so I've got some books out and since my first shift isn't til half way through next week, it gives me some time to read about it all and hopefully make a start. It's not due in for aaaaages but I don't want to leave it til the last minute and mstress myself out even more!

Anyhoo I really should get myself organised. Was in Uni today and did simulation with fake baby (of wich I was terrible at, I swear I'm getting even worse!) then of course meeting my new ward straight after Uni, but I really need to sort out so many things, I'm determined to start this placement with a bit of knowledge in the area so wish me luck!