Ahhhh sorry it's been a while, have been so busy and with working five days a week, and trying to do Uni work I've never really had chance to catch up, but here I am!
So, the title of this blog? Ever get a day, or even just a moment, when all the hard work, all the tears and all the stress finally pay off? Even if it's just for a split second, when you think 'wow, that is exactly why I want to come in to this career?'
Well I had one yesterday and, actually it almost had me in tears, which is not like me! As I'm on a really small ward, and there are hardly any patients at the mo, it's very easy to get attached to the kids that are there, and, well, I totally have got attached to this one boy and I want to take him home with me! He's had a bit of a tough life in terms of his health so far, but I won't say any more, so as to not identify him. He had an operation yesterday, and I stayed right through with him, and was there when he woke up in recovery and I swear it almost broke my heart. He was surrounded by doctors and nurses he didn't know (theatre staff) and he was really agitated and scared, but then he looked up and saw me, recognised who I was and was calling me by this pet name he has for me, and telling me to make it stop hurting and get 'them' the stop what they were doing (just doing obs and stuff, but he didn't understand, he's only 8). Anyway he was reaching out for my hand, so I just held it for him, was stroking his hair and it settled him down, and it was just such an amazing feeling, to be able to do actually feel like I was helping. He kept on looking up, checking I was still there, then settling back down, he's just so lovely. The theatre staff kept saying stuff like 'oh he must really like you' and 'you must have a good bond' and it made me nearly cry. I know that sounds like I'm being really big headed, but I swear, I'm really not. It just hit me with a load of poweful emotions, I was feeling really protective of him, and it felt like I was the only one in that room, who could make it better, and that is one of the reasons I came in to nursing, to help people. I say protective too, as I was told off for holding his hand, for 'health and safety' by a nurse who had obviously never worked with kids, and whilst I do respect that there are rules, I felt like if I stopped holding his hand he'd get more upset and probably try to climb off the bed, hurting himself in the process. So it was probably the first time, ever, that I didn't do as I was told, as I didn't think it would benefit my patient at all.
Anyway, sorry about that massive boring bit just there, I wanted to write it down so if I had a rubbish day, I could look back and use it as a reminder as to why I love this job so much!
What else have I been up to? I finished my essay, at long last. Have just handed it in. I don't think I've done very well to be honest, but I'm just aiming for a pass. When I did my first degree, it was always put on you to get 60 or above (i.e. a 2:1) but this time, I really honestly am over the moon with the minimum pass mark of 50. Like I think I've said before, I don't think essays and exams make you a nurse - being there, looking after patients and following your instincts make you a good nurse. Exams and essay marks are just numbers on a piece of paper, and as long as I get a pass, I don't care.
So anyway, my ward is tiny. I switch my time between the ward and spending time with the specialist nurses. I know when I first started, it was slow and it was, dare I say it...boring? But I made a decision to not focus on all the negatives but to really go for it and try everything I could, and see everything in a positive light, and you know what? It worked! I'm having a ball, I really am enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would and I've learnt LOADS! I think it goes to show that, not only does having a good mentor make or break a placement, and that's nothing you can control BUT a positive mental attitude can really make a placement fantastic! I mean, you can have the best ward ever, but if you go in thinking it'll be crap, then in all likelihood, it probably will be! Whereas if you get a ward that you're not sure of to start with, if you give it your all and decide to get as much as you can out of it, you can make such a difference! I finish placement next week and I already don't want to go! I'm going to miss the kids to much!
Apart from nursey stuff, I'm finally starting to look forward to Christmas! Now that the essay is in I can really chill and enjoy the run up to Christmas day! Most presents bought and wrapped, only have a few more things to buy...everything is good!
I was just thinking the other day as well, I'll have been in training for almost a year, and looking back, I can't believe how much I've changed, how much I've learnt and how much I've loved every minute of it, even the crap times! I wouldn't change it for the world and I still feel so thankful, everyday, for being lucky enough to be given the chance to do this!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment