Mixed Feelings

It's my last week at placement this week and I have to say I'm getting mixed feelings about it all!

On one hand I'll be glad to finish, it wasn't the greatest placement but not because of the ward or the people but just cos of me, doubting myself and second guessing everything I did. On the other hand there is a really big part of me that will be sad to finish, all the staff are lovely and it's a difficult ward to get used to, and now that I'm beginning to feel as though I'm getting into the swing of things, I've got to leave! Actually I think I'll be a lot more sad than glad to finish :o( Ahh well, that's student life for you!

Thinking about it, I feel a bit like I can't let myself relax on this placement, and that is simply because I'm beginning to feel a bit stressed with the fact that I have SO much work to do, it's ridiculous. I've got an essay and an exam to revise for, all happening in the 3 weeks at Uni between this placement and the next one. I think I feel like I'm maybe seeing this placement as something I need to do and be over with, before I can really get stuck in to the work I need to do. That's not to say I haven't tried to do work, but, at the moment my priority is this placement, and so as a result I've been putting off doing work. It's hard to juggle time when you're at work 4 long days a week, and need to find a couple of days off in a row to get really into the work. I'm thinking (and hoping!) that once this placement is done, I will be able to really get on with the work I need to do. It's a bit like when you're at work and you're counting down to a holiday, whilst you're still enjoying work you want it to be over soon so you can go on holiday...if that makes sense? Only I'm not going on holiday, I'm going back to Uni, which sucks.

As for next week, I'm doing something either brave or ridicuously stupid. I asked to spend a day on an oncology ward, which is the area of nursing that upsets me most. I'd been thinking, and if I don't take a step towards hardening myself up against this kind of tihng, then I won't make a good nurse. I want to be able to look after all kids, including those with cancer, and if I get upset too easily, then I won't be giving the best possible care, so I'm hoping that this will help. Well that's my theory anyway.

I'll wrap this up, it's a short little post so makes a change from my usual blabbering rubbish! I've been doing long division all weekend, in a hopeless attempt to learn to do drug calculations, and I needed a break from numbers so I thought I'd make a blog post!