A Whole New Placement

OK, so, apologies for the lack of blog! I’ve been ridiculously busy! I’m so stressed but more about that later.

I’m on my community placement at the moment, nearly almost half way though and whilst I wouldn’t say I hated it…it’s not ‘me’. I’m not sure whether it’s because I loved my first placement so much that maybe I went in thinking I wouldn’t really like it as much, or whether it’s just not what I expected? Firstly, my mentor is absolutely lovely, she’s fab and we got on really well and she totally knows her stuff. I just feel like I’m not doing what I want to do, and actually my comment just now about going into it thinking I wouldn’t like it isn’t true, I went in thinking I’d give it my best, and I am, but I’m not getting all that much satisfaction out of it, I don’t feel ‘hands on’ I feel like an observer and in the way all the time. I mean I play with the kids and stuff, but it’s just not the same, and the days are d-r-a-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-i-n-g so slowly.

I don’t know if it’s just me, or the placement, or the amount of work I need to do (and which I’m too thick to do), but I’m just feeling really overwhelmed by it all and don’t know what I should do. I’m just feeling like I’m going to be a really crap nurse, and I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t cry. Ever. But feel it at the moment. Plus there are some other things I have on top of this that I’m just getting stressed at. It’s like I just want this placement to be over so I have one less thing to worry about. PLEASE make the next few weeks fly by!!!

Anyway, sorry if this isn’t my usual happy post but I needed somewhere to write all this down. And maybe I need a good sleep. I’m finding it really hard to sleep at the moment, still there are plenty of people worse off I should just shut up and stop complaining. I’m on a course where I can learn to do a job which I am going to LOVE and I’m just having a bumpy patch at the moment. It will all be worth while, I just need to smile!